Day – oh

Dragon come and  me want go home……I swear, I just can’t take him anywhere. We went shopping at Trader Joe’s, so of course we had to take skosh and it was a complete rout.  It began simply enough, the  customary weekly trip for our staples and an occasional side purchase of a treat or two.  Or five, thanks to my lust for chocolate.  skosh and I had wandered over to the fresh produce and I was deciding between mache lettuce or baby greens when my leg felt suddenly light and unstable. i looked down and skosh had decamped.  He spotted the bananas, and having never seen a banana before, he decided to investigate them by shape-shifting into a bunch of five. Oh god.  The store was packed with shoppers  and I was at a loss as to exactly how to handle his defection…or how to explain the munching sounds coming from the depths of the pile.  An unsuspecting woman reached for the bananas and let out a yelp as her hand hit a hot clinker and a tiny hiss and trickle of smoke arose from the bunch, as  what she thought of as her banana gave another ill-tempered hiss and began to waddle away across the display.  I managed to collar Dennis and whispered to him what the little marauder had done and we attempted to reason with the bananas without being noticed.

Good luck.

By this time, skosh had decided that he was enjoying himself immensely and refused to reshift himself onto my leg, the ‘bananas” began to hop away from us across the display, knocking the genuine articles off onto the floor, this attracted other shoppers who didn’t know whether to be amused or mystified and when skosh-the-bananas decided to do an impromptu jig, we were forced to call for assistance.  Now…try to explain to a Trader Joe’s associate why she  needed to cordon-off  the bananas without sounding like mad things by resorting to the truth.  Each time anyone including us tried to reach for a piece of the ill-fated fruit, she was greeted by a furious clicking and a tiny plume of smoke, or a hot clinker flying through the air. We finally  seized on the idea of insinuating that possibly the bananas were infested with tarantulas, although I’ve  never known of a smoking tarantula, I hoped that no one  else would  make that particular observation.

After about 20 minutes of trying to appear normal, I finally lost it and leaned over the bananas, and in full view of the rest of the gathered crowd I threatened the bananas in the firmest voice I could muster that if he didn’t get back on my leg RIGHT NOW THIS MINUTE I would take away his goth knee-boots and he would be given instead a pair of red high top sneakers and would have to wear them all the time until my leg healed and he went back to the nest and I would tell all his litter mates about the sneakers and he would NEVER LIVE IT DOWN DID HE HEAR ME??

The bananas assumed a thoughtful mein and went silent.  The smoke dissipated.  I heard a tiny “snrk?”  and for a moment time stopped while he thought it over….then my leg felt a little stronger, and I looked down to see a strangely shaped and multi colored bunch of bananas hanging onto my leg that rapidly morphed into skosh, complete with his beloved boots.

Bless the denizens of Trader Joe’s.  Since most people who shop there are a little out of the box themselves, they simply watched the transformation with bird-like interest, then became rapidly detached and went about their respective days.  There was the odd muttering into  cell phones here and there, but that is not out of the ordinary as in every grocery store you will see someone with the phone glued to their ear, giving the ghost on the other end a blow-by -blow of the shopping experience.  “I’m at the produce now… I’m heading for the half and half…do we want yogurt or….um….” in the customary cell phone monotone.  all was suddenly normal.

We got away clean!!  I don’t know how we managed it, and when we were safely home I gave skosh a talking-to about his behavior in public and what I expected of him in future, but about midway through my tirade I noticed that his eyes had glazed over and he had his ipod shuffle plugged into what I can only assume are his ears, so I pray that at least some of what I said had sunk in…..but  I don’t hold out much hope. -Posted by Susan

See more prints by Susan and Dennis at Galerie Yggdrasil our Etsy store

Advertisements

Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: