Draco piscator…….

Oy. Why me??

I had things to do in the kitchen today, many cupboards that have not been gutted and cleaned since the jurassic period, so I set the kids in the living room with the tv and 20 pounds of video games.  As I was working, I could hear the soothing sounds of rocket launchers, multi-auto pileups, shrieks of agony and snarls and growls and flamethrowers.  This latter sometimes gives me pause, as I have a flamethrower of mine own on which to keep tabs…but since I smelled no scent of scorch, I kept working , secure in the knowledge that all was well,  for now.

As I was scrubbing a particularly dense and unidentifiable stain on a top cupboard, Skosh wandered in to the kitchen and addressed me.

“Mom?tktktktTOKtk?”  (his voice is changing as he approaches adolescence.)  “Mom?  if you could get in your car and go anywhere in the world, where would you…no. no, your bicycle.  if you…no.  your MOTORcycle.  if ..no.  Your bike.  if you could get on your bike and go anywhere in  the world, where would you go?”

Oh, dear.

Now.  When Skosh and Neckers returned from their man-cave wilderness-taming long weekend, they dropped their depleted backpacks by the front door, staggered into my bedroom, flopped onto my bed and remained there without moving for two days.  I deliberately did not ask them for details of their trip since I did not want to invade their newly-born privacy, so to this point nothing has been said.

I cannot say that I have completely left them to their own devices, privacy-wise.  while they were gone I locked skosh’s computer against the only dragon porn I could find…”flame me, baby”, “erotoscales” and “klawz-4-u”.  beyond that I did not care to explore.  although Neckers uses Skosh;s computer too, I was just not ready for hummingporn, that is up to his mother.  However, with this question, I was tempted to inquire exactly what had transpired during the time the young gentlemen were away.

“Um…did you and ‘neck have a good time while you were taming the wilds?”  A tentative reaching out.

“Yup”…and off he went back to the pseudowreckage in the living room, leaving me with a wild agony of curiosity.   I cued my ears in for further knowlege by shamelessly listening in to any communication beyond the tv action in the living room.  ” I asked momtktk.”  “wad she sayeeeep?”  “TknuffintktkTOK.” from Neil, Neckers’ brother the not quite rooster, I heard only “If she only knewooooeeooeroooo!” Followed by a giggle from Heather.  Clearly there are things to which I am not privy…oh, no…and the children know.  To misquote a fine blues man, “the moms don’t know, what the little kids understand.”

I did ask a few tentative questions. and was told that they had just done the usual stuff, “guy mom, geetktk, no biggie tktkTOK, just like ya know, fishin and stuff.  We just hung and like fished and stuff.tk. WO CHECK OUT THAT BLAGOR, KILLITKILLIT COOL NECK YOU ROCK MAN!!tktk”.  i canot compete with video games and deep adolescent secrets.  so, for the nonce, I must let it rest.

However, I have had a few ominous questions from Skosh that make me wonder just exactly what occurred on that time away….”momtkTOKtktk…what’s it like to rob a bank?”  And even worse…”mom? TOKTOKtk whssssss..(the sound of a soft breeze moving through the magnolia trees in front of a fine old southern victorian home always bodes ill) mom?  would ya like to see me make a bomb out of peanut butter  and Nyquil?”

Posted by Susan.   Find Skosh art and other cool stuff at Galerie Yggdrasil


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