Archive for February, 2011

Salmonella…….

February 24, 2011

Skosh’s new friends joined the usual suspects this afternoon for a little snack and a dvd or two, which Vlad picked up on the way over to the house.  I was introduced to the four babyvamps and found them delightful…polite, soft-spoken and easy to talk to.  I put out a puu puu platter of the everpresent bologna sandwiches (carefully cut in triangles as per skosh’s request) Sunchips, pretty little bowls of nectar and a variety of seeds and bits of greenery for ‘neckers and Heather….Also chocolate sprinkles, although where Heather got a letch for chocolate is beyond me.  Probably sneaking the odd beakful of Godivas from her mothers party plates, I expect.  Not to neglect my new guests, around the edges of the platter I put huge piles of cherry tomatoes, quartered beefsteak tomatoes, and glasses of v8 with straws for the b.v.’s. I discovered that  trying to drink from glasses  is not only difficult for vampires but also quite messy…not that red splatters all over the floors and walls bothers the kids..actually, quite the opposite.  Doesn’t exactly thrill the one-woman clean up crew, however…me.

All seemed well, happy chatter and clinking and the dulcet tones of Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and (thank heaven) Flogging Molly emanating from Skosh’s room, just the usual sounds of an afternoon get together…that is, until the dvd was put into the player, at which point all hell broke loose. Some sounds from Skosh that I had never heard before…Native American war whoops, rumbling of tanks, and what i can only assume were the feeding sounds of the tyrannosaurus rex, interspersed with hissings and profanity from the male members of the vamp family.  under all this cacophony i could hear Mina and Heather….”you turn that off and we will peck/fang you to death for sure you chauvinist pig idiots we have to put up with your PPPEEEEEEEPSKWAWWWWK damn war games and we want to SEE THIS SO SHUT IT and then further grumblings from the male contingent.

Tentatively tapping on the door, I discovered that at the rental store, the stoner behind the counter had mistakenly put the wrong dvd in the right box and although Vlad thought he rented a special favorite of the vamps that he had got as a special treat for the Skosh contingent, called “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”, what they had in reality rented was an old disney knockoff, a chick flick called “Salmonella”,which delighted the girls and they were determined to watch it.  Despite grumbling from the males in the group the ladies won the day and watch it they did.  Heather told me the plot after the film was over so I am herein relating it to you, exactly as it was told to me by Heather.  Next time I imagine Vlad will check the dvd box to make sure he is getting his chosen film, but this one sounded fine to me……too bad, fellas, I’m with the girls on this one.

Salmonella:  plot synopsis by Heather Pinfeather

When Mackenzie salmon was newly hatched her mother used to put her to sleep by reading fish tales to her.  Her favorite one was the one about the teen salmon who has a fishy godmother, a fat cod with gossamer wings, who gives the young salmon a tiara and totally cool shoes and sends her to the ball at the prince’s palace and he is a total babe and sweeps her away to the mountains forever and ever.

Mackenzie believes this with all her little heart and lo and behold, when she turns 15, here comes the fat cod with a shoebox from Manolo’s and a Major Dress!  And ball tickets, omg!!  Mackenzie is sure this is her big chance to shine so she swallows the lump in her throat that might just be a bug or something and off she goes to the ball.

The music is a little dorky but the palace is gorgeous and Mackenzie is just waiting for the prince to come for her where she is hanging out by the buffet table, posing attractively.  Finally he arrives, to much fanfare, but when Mackenzie gets a look at this creep in full spawn attire, she says to herself, NO WAY HE’S ORANGE AND STUFF and omg look at that snout on him, no WAY, and hurries to the lap pool to text her best friend Cooper to come and get her RIGHT NOW BESTIE YOU GOTTA HELP ME  and out the double doors to the red carpeted stairs she races, losing one of the Manolos in the process.  How awful but ewww, that prince, and happily as she reaches the bottom of the stairs, there is her bff Cooper in the new Squash 88 that her parents got her for graduation.

Off the girls speed, narrowly missing two footmen and a large playing card (where did that come from, omg) and Mackenzie decides from that moment on she will be a lot more careful concerning which fables she chooses to embrace.  It IS too bad about the shoe, though.

Posted by Susan.  Find prints by Susan and Dennis at Galerie Yggdrasil

Who took the picture?……….

February 15, 2011

I guess I should have asked who took the fishing photo.  or…perhaps not.

I had kind of wondered who took the picture of the boys fishing but got busy after they returned from their long weekend and the question just went out of my mind until this morning, after a few secretive mumbling ‘tktktkhehehehTOK tk’ conversations Skosh had on his new cell, and a flurry of Heatherish giggles and peeps from Skosh’s room during said convos.  Things have been a little off kilter since Skosh and ‘neckers came back from the camping expedition and I decided it was time to find out just exactly what had occurred.  Not that I don’t trust them, mind you, but there have been a few…ah…incidents and I feel that I should be as fully informed as possible.  Provided that being even remotely informed is possible at all….

Around noon Skosh and his joined-at the-umm…hip? retinue came straggling into the kitchen looking for A Little Something to keep bodies and souls together, so I took the opportunity to pose the question.

“Skosh?”

“Mmtk.  Nectar’s on the top shelf where it ALWAYS is, ‘neck, jeest…Heathie, here’s yer seeds…Mmtktkmom?”

“Skosh, I’ve been meaning to ask you…Since you and neck were both in the photo you took on your fishing trip, who took the photo? Did you run into a ranger?”

Sudden flurry of activity around the fridge, glazed eyes, and heightened cacophony from earbuds.

” SKOSH TURN THAT DOWN who was it?”

“Mmtktkmmermwhsssssssssh”  uh oh.  Whsssh…the antebellum magnolia breeze sound.  Never a good sign.

“Skoshie, I won’t be mad, why would I be mad??  should i be mad??!!  Skosh?”

“Erumum. Wellltktktk, we kinda sorta ran into these erumum.”

Was I ever going to wrest any information from this recalcitrant lizard?

“Skosh.  do I have to ask ‘neckers?  or his mother??”

“Oh tktktk mom I was um gonna tell you ’cause we um.  we um.  they are new friends could I ask them over to hang sometime huh mom huhtkTOKTOKTOKWHSSSSSSHHHH???”

At last.  But why, I wondered, the nervous tktking?  Well of course, I told him, I loved the idea of him having new friends and he was more than welcome to have them over any time he wanted,  should I fix some tuna salad, or weenie wraps, or (gak) the bologna and american cheese sandwiches that were Skosh’s favorites?

Ermtk.  Thanksmomtktkt but they’re vegans.

Vegans.  this is a GOOD  thing, so why the nerves, still?  Upon further probing, I discovered that the boys had been fishing and were having no luck catching anything, especially ‘neckers who was using fuchsia blossoms for bait instead of trout flies.  While they were casting dejectedly, four youngsters who were camping up the river came wandering by and asked if they could help.  The boys were intrigued and they all introduced themselves and the newcomers knelt by the river and began whispering to it in a language the boys didn’t recognize.

After a moment or two of this, one of the new guys stood up and said that the trout would be willing to pose in the creel for a photo provided they were given some river water to hang out in and a handful of bugs and flies for a nosh while they were in the creel since as everyone knows, posing is hungry work.  Another trout said that he would be happy to leap into the air with the line in his mouth as the photo was being taken, for the same fee.

Any one of us would probably have had a fistful of questions but for Skosh, a dragon, and ‘neckers, a hummingbird, it all seemed perfectly reasonable and so the bargain was struck. One of the trout whisperers took the photo, and the group of young um, people(?) bonded over a small snack.

It seems that the four vegans have a little glitch that made Skosh reluctant to tell me about them, and after their time at the river they had exchanged names and cell numbers and had been meeting at the supermarket in the mall ever since.

Skosh’s new friends, Johnathon, Mina, and the twins…Tad and Vlad…are vegan vampires.  ahh.  now it all comes clear.  Vampires?  I live with a shapeshifting dragon, a little black chick, and a hummingbird most of the time.  Vampires?  why should I balk at a few babyvamps, I ask you?  hey…a walk in the park. *sigh*  wait, though….vegans?

a few more questions, and I discovered that the vamps liked to hang out in the largest and most thorough produce aisles they could find in the local supermarkets and strike fear into the hearts of their favorite prey….the beefsteak tomato.  Not that any vegetable at all was safe from their not so tender attentions, but the hapless tomato is their primary target.  Skosh warmed to his tale and told me that the babyvamps were friends of all animals and birds and were multilingual (momtktktthey;re reeeeeelly totally smarttkTOK!!) which I suppose would explain their ability to con the trout into the photo op.  Heh.

So.  the upshot of all this is, next weekend we are having a sleepover….Skosh, ‘neckers, Heather, Jon, Mina, Tad and Vlad.  it should be lively, oh help.

Guess I had better stock up on tomato juice.  and romas.  and cherry tomatoes.  and of course the requisite seeds, nectar, and bologna.  *sigh* redux.  I’ll get back to you if I make it through the next weekend in good health and sane.

Posted by Susan. For prints of the illustrations from the Skosh Chronicles visit Galerie Yggdrasil

Mask 66 Egypt breaks free……

February 11, 2011

Congratulations! That was the easy part. May your future path be made smooth. – Posted by Dennis

ps. made from the image in the previous post.

A windy sunset……

February 9, 2011

I clicked the shutter for this picture with the camera  pointing to the right about 45 degrees when I saw a wave about to cover the rocks in the center of the frame. The sand was wet on the beach at the end of our street,  and I pivoted left  before the shutter closed. The colors have not been “pushed”. The only thing I did was to size the image so it fits on the blog page. Sometimes W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G.. -Posted by Dennis

Visit Dennis and Susan at Galerie Yggdrasil where our first anniversary sale is in progress.