She Moved Through the Faire………

Taking a dragon to the Renaissance Faire?  WHAT WAS I THINKING???

The vamps exploded through the front door with the news…the ren faire was two weeks away!  We had to go!   And so the planning began.  Costumes.  We needed costumes.  was I expected to make them? It appeared so, and with much peeping and promises from Heather that her mother would finance the wherewithal to construct the costumes if I would make them,  we were, once again, off and running, and I was sewing for all I was worth.

Heather was to be a wench.  She was extremely excited by this since her girth would be made significantly smaller (she hoped) by a waist cincher corset,  and the vamps and ‘Neckers were delighted by the thought of pirate costumes, and spent a great deal of time leaping about the house waving their arms (and wings) around and shrieking “ARRRRRRGH!”  at what  I considered inappropriate times.  Skosh had decided that his costume would have to be that of a knight. (???)   When I pointed out to him that knights as a rule were supposed to kill dragons, he replied that yes, he knew that, and it was tantamount to a black man moving into a white neighborhood in the 50’s and burning a cross on his own lawn, and what could they do to him?

I guessed at the time that he had a valid point. Little did I know…

It took all of the two weeks to make the costumes and the vamps and ‘Neckers looked amazing…well, at least, the vamps did.  “Neckers, well, he did his best and as they say, attitude is all.  Heather was at her finest in her lovely wench outfit and did, indeed, look a little slimmer in her corset, although she had a tendency to wheeze a little and had to sit down often.  Despite her heft, she is a pretty girl and I was proud of her beauty as she entered the Faire.

We all left the bus with gratitude to the driver and entered the Faire preceded by Heather, who got a lot of positive attention from the large and slightly drunken Faire attendants. Heather was in her element and sailed away to the nearest booth, hand in wing with Mina, both of them delighted with the bright colors, ribbons, and renaissance clothing on offer. The boys went immediately to the booths offering knightly ware, such as knives, swords, chain mail and other death-dealing horrors.  Life was good.

Eventually, they came to the area where food, such a it is, is sold and Heather decided that she was ( no pun intended)  peckish. She wanted to find the booth that sold ye Olde Gummye Bares, and was on the hunt.  Unfortunately for Heather, one of her many bulky admirers told her that she could not be a “real wench” until she had consumed a roast turkey leg.

Oh,no.

Heather, who recognized another bird when she saw it, squeaked and peeped in dismay, burst into tears, and fled to the…umm…arms? of her dearest love, Skosh, who when he sought to comfort her was recognised by the group at large as a (gasp) dragon!  ARRRRRRRR!!!

*Sigh/* It went downhill from there.  Skosh was set upon by a “horde” of fat drunken vikings and had to be kept from breathing fire by his pirate cohorts who threatened the bulky crew by a showing of fang and shouts of “He’ll breathe fyre,, damme, he will! Let him go or we’ll hoist you by yer own petards!” Which of course they wouldn’t under any circumstances,  but the vikings didn’t know that and backed off with mighty threats of ‘Next time, ye varlets.’ All of us, vikings and vamps alike, were shown the door by the leaders, as such, of the ren faire.  We tried.

The upside was, Mina and Heather were able to make many lovely purchases of jewelry and clothing before the fight and Skosh was not required to show his colors in order to defend his lady. So, in the end, all was well.

I doubt that we shall ever be welcome at the Renaissance Faire again, however.  Welladay.

It's a bird!!! Pastel and ink drawing by Susan Owen

It’s a Bird!!!!                                                    Ink and pastel drawing by Susan Owen

Posted by Susan, who asks you to please visit our on-line shop at Galerie Yggdrasil

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