Birthday Girl

Birthday Girl. Drawing by Susan Owen

Skosh is in love. The object of his currently undying affection is Heather Pinfeather, Jr, the daughter Heather Sr., the CEO of Feathco  Inc., a strident harridan who can break the back of the most cold blooded of creatures without a ruffle of her patent leather topknot.  She rules her empire with an iron claw and misses nothing,, to the constant terror of her underlings.  This situation being what it is, Heather Sr.  has little if any time to spend with her offspring and little Heather has been raised from an egg by a series of browbeaten and tearful nannies, none lasting more than a month or two.  Thus, Heather the younger has grown into a tongue tied, mumbling teen with no world experience and less self-esteem.  To make up for the empty hole that being relatively parentless has left in her young life, heather has found a way to fill the chasm…gummi worms.  Her lack of parental control and dearth of friends has left Heather Jr. with only her appetite for company and thus she has become, over the years, too fat to fly.  This does nothing to endear her to her peers, making her  even more of an outsider. She has to walk to get anywhere and walking is just so…gay.

Skosh has been more agitated than I have ever seen him since laying eyes on young Heather, which made things at home a little crispy and warmish until I discovered a way to wrap his  head with a water heater blanket.  Not stylish, but protecting my home against flash fire is my first priority.  Skosh’s love life must needs take care of itself.  We have, however, had to have a few of “those” talks.  He wants to take her tokens of his love, so I must tread carefully around his questions in this regard since just about anything I could think of that he could give her as a gift  she would at the very least attempt to eat.   (coming from a wealthy family hasn’t done a great deal for the young lady’s manners.)  We  tried gummi worms of course, which were a big hit, but left poor Skosh neglected since all Heather’s attention was directed at the candy and he might as well have been invisible.  Flowers worked a little better but she still spent a lot of their courting time going through the petals looking for succulent insects.  we eventually decided to give heather something she badly needs and has never had:   flying lessons.

Skosh decided that for her birthday last week he would give her her first flying lesson and approached her with the idea that very morning.  Her first question was whether or not they would be serving lunch on the flight and she was somewhat deflated upon learning that she herself would very likely be doing the flying and any lunch she might be served would be catch as catch can, no pun.  However , she soon rallied and was quite taken  with the idea of flying since she desired freedom above all things and mom wouldn’t let  her have a car.  I mean, GUY!!

The day arrived for her first lesson and every feather on her round little frame stood straight out, either from fear or excitement, on heather it is difficult to tell.  Skosh scooped her out of her nest and settled her comfortably on his neck with her wings firmly planted on either side of his earwings and off they went.  he was surprisingly careful with her…no pinwheels in midair, no deep dives and last-minute

saves,  and from what little I could see even with binoculars she was quite secure.  I was waiting for the Big Moment and at last it came….Skosh took her off his neck and held her out in front of him as he flew straight toward an open field.  wings outspread, heather lifted her tiny beak and opened it wide (in case of the unexpected arrival of random comestibles, she wanted to be ready), Skosh lowered his claws from beneath her generous tummy. Heather was flying!!!  She tried a tentative flap.  It worked!!  Flying!!  the two of them did a couple of turns around the meadow just to make sure she  could really do it and all was well, and she even did manage, on the fly, to get a beakful of greenboogen, a delicacy that up until then  she had only heard her mother mention in passing.  Success, and on the first try!!

Since then the two of them have been inseparable and Heather is beginning to blossom and has even dropped a little weight which can only help her flying aptitude.  Skosh has been a lot more mellow and for that I am grateful since it helps keep the fire insurance premiums down.  An unexpected plus:  It gets the demanding little whiner out of the house a lot, too, oh blessed silence.  This friendship could be as good for me as it is for Skosh and Heather.  One drawback, though….he now wants to prove his lifelong adoration for Heathie by getting…urp…a tattoo.  We have been going round and round about this and since if he becomes annoyed enough he can burn the house down I have agreed to give it some consideration.  he says he doesn’t want that sailor stuff, he wants ART, preferably something in the spirit Monet, so we have made an appointment with Francois at the impressionist tattoo parlor, L’idiot Douleur, in the village.  The appointment is for next week.

I have a deep sense of foreboding….these things just never go well.

Posted by Susan.  See more drawings and weirdness by Dennis and Susan at Galerie Yggdrasil

Tags: L'idiot Douleur, Monet, Skosh, tattoos